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Dustypoo
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Name: Dustin
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Springfield
Birthday: 3/14/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Watching movies with freinds, hanging with freinds, making NEW freinds. haha... basically everyting with freinds.
And above all, i love music!! you name it, i like it. (Except country...) Music is just something that i love so much.
Expertise: Reading, watching movies, LISTENING TO MUSIC!!!!
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/22/2003
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| ok, so it's been a long time since i posted.... i guess i have been too busy, or just lazy. One or the other.... weird how the same thing can happen from two things totaly different. hahaha... anywayz. I don't think that I'll update much anymore... work work work!!!
...---===PEACE===---...
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| Have you ever felt misunderstood as an artist... as a writer... as a human? Things aren’t always as they seem.
Anywayz.... today was an other beautiful day!!! Once again, the sun was shinning and the flowers were bright, the grass is even getting greener every day. Haha... crazy, the grass isn’t greener on the other side... you just have to wait for it to get green on your side to. Haha...
Anywayz, work went well today. The last couple of days it wasn’t that hot... and so I was like, “Ok, God... look. You and I both know that you like to bless your servants, right? Well, I’m just asking that you keep on doing what u like to do.” Haha... and as always, God answers prayer. =)
Hum... is there anything else new? Hum.... ooh!!! At work if we win some contests we get what are called “pyramide prize points” which we can redeem for whole lots of stuff. Anywayz, I had 300 of them.. so I got $125 worth of WalMart gift certificates! Haha... amazing, eh? That should pay for my meals at least for a while. Man, when it rains it pours.... in a good way. =P
Ok, it’s late... and I gotta get the oil changed in the car tomorrow... so I should go get some sleep. Have a good night xanga people (and whoever else might read this). Farewell....
...---===PEACE===---...
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| He looks down one final time at the blade. It's so sharp, so flashy...
it's funny, he never noticed that before. He looks down one last time
as he moves the blade to his wrist. "I know I should do this in the
bathroom or someting so it's less of a mess for everyone... but I want
to be in my bed while I'm fadding. Isn't that just like me... selfish
to the end." And slowly he closes his eyes... the lest thing he will
ever see is the sharp blade ready to cut his wrist. His eyes closed, he
moves his face up... and in one swift motion he slashes. "Funny, I
thought it would hurt more then this... it feels even less painfull
then a shot in the arm". Slowly, he layes down... arm hanging off the
edge. He keeps his eyes closed... there is no way he want's to see his
own blood. Slowly, slowly... even thugh his eyes are closed, he can
feel it growing dark. Darker and darker.... and then nothing.
He looks down one final time at the ledge he is standing on. He was
alwayz scared of hights, but he knew that that would all be over in a
second. "Funny, I've alwayz wanted to go sky diving... well, this is
kind of like that." He laughs... "Funny thing to do at a time like
this", he though. "But this is the end... I should be able to so
whatever I want, shouldn't I?" He realises that there isn't any point
in thinking about it now... it will all be over soon. Slowly, he inches
closer to the edge... he has half of his feet off the end already. He
takes one last look down and then closes his eyes, spreads his arms
out... and without a cry, he leans forward and lets himslef fall. Eyes
still closed, he feels the wind against his face and makes himself love
every last millisecond of his life. He hears one woman scream... and
then nothing.
He looks down one final time at the bottle in his hands. Without
thinking, he spills three pills into his mouth and then swallows them
with water. Three more and then water.... two more and then water...
three more and then water. "It's a good thing I got a big glass... i
didn't realise how much water this would take", he thought to himself.
Four more pills and then water... the bottle is empty. Slowly, he sets
the glass on the counter next to him. Looking at his hands and
realising how many little cracks there are in them... he closes his
eyes. He tilts his head... eyes still closed. "By the time I even get
to thinking about saving myself and throwing up... I'll be too sleepy
to think." Eyes still closed... he lyes down on his bed. Momories flash
in his mind... like light behind his eyelids. His first kiss... his
first heart break... the first time he realised he truly loved
someone... the first time he knew she could never feel the same way...
his first time to drive on his own... his best times with his
freinds... all the stupid, crazy things he did... all the times he made
people laugh... camping... talking... thinking... feeling. Slowly, he
felt his thoughts comming slower and slower. "Why can't I remember them
as fast now?". Just that thought alone seemed to take forever.
Feelings............ kisses......... love.... "If I ever really felt
that one".......... longing....... hopes.......
dreams................... thoghts.......................
feelings...................
heartbreak.................................................................
And then nothing.
He opens his eyes and looks around. Why did he alwayz think about
things like that when he way lying down trying to sleep?? Yes, yes...
it was alwayz a big thing on his mind. But he knew that he could never
do that to his fmaily... to his freinds... even to himself. He knew
that there were brighter days ahead.... he knew that there is alwayz a
tomorow. "It's funny how I think about it at night time... when I'm
alone." He closes his eyes..... thinks about a brighter tomorow. For
just one second, the thoughts of killing himself flash in his mind....
he opens his eyes and looks up... he takes a deep breath, pushes the
thoughts aside, and then closes his eyes once again. His thoughts drift
back the the hope of tomorow... brighter days. He is getting sleeply
now... maybe he should turn his brain off and just sleep. With one last
thought of hope... he drifts off into deep, sweet sleep.
=====================================================
"A Thought in the Dark"
...---===PEACE===---...
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Burn paper, burn
That tells me what I need to be;
That tells me what I have to be
First I tried to bury you
To keep you from my life
But somehow you always awoke
Over and over again
I put you in your grave
But you were unwilling
Now I see my only option
Is to burn you to nothing;
To let you die for good
Now you are gone and I am free;
Free to be who I am, who I want to be
No one can tell me who I am, except me
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"The Burning"
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"It's Death"
...---===PEACE===---...
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| "Bother"
By: Stone Sour
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me crap to digest
I wish I had a reason;
My flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
With its memories
Diaries left
With cryptic entries
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"Music's Shadow"
...---===PEACE===---...
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